Siiri's Birth Story

Siiri Eleanor DeForest came into our family so peacefully it was almost like a dream. I am filled with awe even now as I think of it.

The first of our 5 girls was born here in Maine at Mercy hospital in Portland. It was more like a nightmare. I wanted to have a natural birth with her but I was totally unprepared for it. It was also a very long back labor and I thought I was going crazy. After that I decided that I was going to either not have any more children biologically or I was going have an epidural for the pain next time. The next birth went extremely smoothly. I was induced four days after my due date and she was born 3 hours and 15 minutes after I checked into the hospital. I had an epidural as soon as I felt like the pain was a little too uncomfortable and there were no complications of any kind. That was a very healing experience and gave me confidence that I would be able to have more children in what I considered to be a reasonable way.

Baby #3 was also induced just 2 days after my due date and I had another epidural. The labor was not terribly long and it went well. About the time Grace came along I was researching all kinds of health related topics and had changed my mind about many things I had been doing. We were trying to live a much more natural healthy lifestyle. I changed pediatricians because the one we had been seeing wasn’t supportive of natural remedies much at all and I wanted to take a different approach to my baby’s care and have someone supportive of me in that quest.

Baby #4 came four days early so no induction was wanted but I had an epidural with her as well. I went to a new midwifery office for #4 and I really didn’t like the way they questioned so many of my decisions and tried to shame me into changing my mind. One thing I specifically requested was that I not be given pitocin after the birth unless I really needed it. It was standard procedure with them so that women would avoid hemorrhaging but my midwife said that would be fine. When the time came she checked my bleeding and put on this little act like I really needed some help with the pitocin. It seemed strange and the nurse who was assisting clearly didn’t agree. The midwife went ahead and gave me pitocin and ignored the nurse who could see that things were a little put on. I felt pretty disrespected throughout that whole pregnancy and birth but the studying I had done helped me be confident in the decisions I had made.

I thought baby #4 would be our last for a little while but was still interested in hearing stories from my friend’s births and many of them had had homebirths. I thought I was just different and that I needed to have a hospital birth in order to receive an epidural because I decided I have a very low pain tolerance. When we decided we were going to have another baby, right away I had the feeling that I would like to have a homebirth. For many reasons this ended up being a great decision but it seemed to come from nowhere. I would think about that desire and wonder why I felt so convinced that it was what I wanted to do. It didn’t make sense based on my experience but at the same time I was completely sure that that is what I wanted this time.

I began researching what it meant to have a homebirth, how it all happened with the midwives coming and what I needed to have on hand etc, etc. I started learning about childbirth methods and different approaches to childbirth to try and see what might work for me. I read the hypnobirthing book and listened to one of the cds that come with the program and though I learned some things that were helpful from the book the method overall didn’t seem like a good fit for me. I read a book called Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering by Sarah Buckley that was really great. I also started reading everything I could online about Ina May Gaskin and decided I wanted to read her books. I borrowed Spiritual Midwifery and Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth from my midwives. They were fantastic books. I think the biggest thing that I learned from all of my reading and studying was that I didn’t need to be afraid. If I was afraid or negative it would work against me in labor and that I had control over that. I learned that labor is a complex thing but if allowed to proceed without interference (from medications, fear, or even annoyance) the hormones and chemicals would all work properly to allow the baby to enter the world peacefully. I learned to view childbirth as normal and natural and joyful. What a thought! I knew the joy of the baby in my arms afterward but the idea that the labor and deliver could be wonderful too was a very foreign concept. As I embraced those ideas I became really excited about getting to have this opportunity to experience birth the way it is meant to be.

I had taken a Family Herbalist class from the School of Natural Healing and in one of Dr Christopher’s books (he is the herbalist that started the school) he talked a lot about preparing for a great birth and a healthy baby. He had developed an herbal formula called Birth Prep that is to be taken starting 6 weeks before the baby is due. I began that formula as well as Evening Primrose Oil, extra Calcium, extra Vitamin C and my regular prenatal vitamins- D, B complex, Cod Liver Oil, magnesium, and Iodarol (Iodine for my thyroid). I really think the Birth Prep and Primrose Oil made a big difference. It is hard to isolate one variable among so many different things I was trying to do but altogether it was perfect!

Tom was extremely supportive. Especially as Siiri’s due date approached I could tell we were naturally getting closer in anticipation. It was really neat. He wrote this entry on his blog:

Something unexpected is happening to me.

We are expecting our fifth girl. This was not unexpected. My wife decided to have a home birth. I’ve known this for several month so this is not the thing that is unexpected, either.

No, the thing that surprises is me is how I feel about this birth—I’m excited. Just about anyone who knows me can tell you that I have a weak stomach. Blood has always made me weak in the knees. So it should surprise you that I’m excited. I think I will be queasy but there is something that is going to push me past all of that.

It’s hard to describe without sounding ridiculous or clumsy. I am excited for the responsibility of supporting my wife through natural labor. I am excited to be a part of the delivery of this daughter in a way I’ve never been involved before.

Maybe I can compare it to be assigned an important mission. It is daunting. Many people are counting on you. If you fail, the repercussions are serious. But, despite all fears, you know you were born to do this and you will succeed against all odds. That is how I feel.

It is an entirely unexpected feeling. Fear—I knew I would feel that. Sickly—yep, expecting bouts of wobbly knees. Flowing over and floating under these and all other feelings is a confidence that this is what the Lord sent me here to do right now. He will be with me and my wife. It will be beautiful and moving like nothing I’ve ever done.

One week til the due date. I can’t wait.

He was everything I needed him to be.

I didn’t have as many practice contractions as last time. I would have contractions if I overdid it but I would rest and drink some water and they would stop. I began having contractions here and there 2 days before she was born that were a little more regular but they were not strong and then they would stop before they got intense. Friday night, her due date, we were out on our date and I had some contractions every 12-15 minutes for several hours. That was a little distracting and so we went home so that I could rest just in case they didn’t stop. They did stop and we slept well that night. Because they were beginning to be more regular I tried to think of them as rushes or surges so that I was in the right frame of mind. Saturday morning I had more regular but weak rushes. Tom was out mowing the lawn and I went to the bathroom and had some “baby show.” Things were really happening! I hadn’t been checked at all my whole pregnancy so it was reassuring to see evidence that things were changing and progressing. Those surges stopped as well and I tried to get the house put together. I called my mother who was going to be with the girls and she came sometime during that afternoon. I had a few more throughout the day but nothing remarkable. My mother and I debated whether she would head home or stay and she decided to stay. We went to bed around 10:30 or 11pm.

I woke up at 12:30 with rushes. They were slightly more intense so I started to time them and they were 3-4 minutes apart. I waited for a couple of hours to see if they were going to stop or change and I wanted to let Tom get as much rest as possible. I took this time to figure out a comfortable, natural way to breath through the surges. It helped to always remember to breath and never hold my breath. I think this was great practice and I was feeling confident and excited. I woke Tom up around 3:30 when the rushes started to get stronger and we called the midwives right away. After that we got settled back into bed and laid there together for a little bit and then my water broke! It was pretty comical actually. It was in the middle of a surge and they had begun to be more intense and so we were quiet and I was trying to breath evenly and then we heard a POP! and then suddenly everything was really warm. It was really funny. I was glad we had gotten the bed all ready in case we decided to have her on the bed.

Tom helped me to the shower, changed the bed and began filling the tub. Mama woke up while we were moving around and Tom woke Kate and Lili up when he went up to get a sheet. Then Lucy woke up and my mom stayed with her and they read books. Tom also called Julia and she arrived a little later.

The surges were really intense now that my water had broken. The warm shower felt a little better and I was looking forward to getting into the warm tub. In the shower I started to do what I kind of pictured in my head as breathing and making a quiet groaning down to meet the rush. I could feel just what tone I needed to make when I got there and it really helped to balance out the intensity of the surge. Earlier I also had Tom push down hard on my lower back which was very helpful. Tom was busy while I was in the shower and I couldn’t push as hard as he could on that spot so I began to feel a little anxious. The midwives arrived just as I was getting out of the shower. They checked the baby’s heartbeat and asked me a few questions and then just quietly got set up. I went and laid on the bed until the tub was ready and they checked Siiri’s heartbeat again. Everything sounded great. Tom came in with me and helped me change into what I wanted to wear in the tub. Then I settled into the tub. I felt very in control as long as I could groan and have Tom put pressure on that spot.

I was just thinking how great things were going and I began to wonder what the rest of the labor was going to be like when I had another rush come and then I felt what I thought was a pushing urge. I sucked my breath in hard because I was so surprised and then remembered to keep breathing. I wasn’t positive that was it but pretty sure so when the surge ended I said something like ‘I think I felt like pushing.” They were very calm and just said something like “okay.” When the next rush came sure enough it came with the need to push. I pushed once hard and I reached down and there was her head. I could tell she had tons of hair! Then I pushed again and she came right out into the water. Sarah scooped her up and handed her to me. There she was!

She had arrived so suddenly I think I was a bit in shock! Tom and I looked at each other thinking, “that’s it?” It was so amazing! There she was in my arms after a beautiful, peaceful labor and delivery. I could hardly believe it and yet there we were. I was so happy, relieved, and just pleased as could be. Lili, Kate, and Julia were right there with us and it was really neat to share that with them. I only wish that it had gone a little more slowly so that Mama, Lucy, and Grace could have made it down from upstairs. They came down soon after. I also had not been coherent enough to realize that even though I didn’t need my sister, Siiri, to watch the girls because Mama was there that maybe she would have wanted to just be there. I wish I had asked her and worked that out. But it was almost perfect.

She was so peaceful. She didn’t let out a big cry right away so they gave her some oxygen until she got a good cry out. She was still so peaceful. She settled right down and began nursing. She was a natural at nursing which was also a relief to know. I think she swallowed a lot of air when they were giving her oxygen so that took her a few days to work its way out but otherwise she was content and snuggly from the beginning. The midwives took a few pictures and helped us get cleaned up and into bed.

After a little while Anna, the midwife student assistant, came in to give us the placenta tour. That was quite an education! Our bodies are so amazing! God is so good and being co-partners in creating these perfect little people is such a blessing and an honor. I’m so grateful to Him for allowing me that gift. I am also so grateful to my husband for supporting me through it all so well. He was wonderfully strong and constant as always. My midwives were just what I needed and helped me to achieve the birth that I wanted. This is truly the way children were meant to come into the world and I just want to shout for joy that I got to have the experience! Now I get to go change a messy diaper! I know it sounds weird but sometimes there is even joy in that! Yeah for mommyhood!